intoasylum:

This. All the awards for Penelope. Here’s a fairy tale about a girl cursed at birth with a huge flaw in her genetics: the nose of a pig. Forced to grow up hidden away in her home, with a mother who scared her from ever entering the outside world, in fear of people cringing at her face and ridiculing her. She spends her whole life being told by her family that the only way to break the curse is to marry a man, for only another’s acceptance of her face would break the spell. But in the end, she runs away from her wedding, realizing that she doesn’t want to enter a loveless marriage just to break a curse she was born with. She doesn’t need a man to cure her, because she’s perfectly fine exactly the way she is. She finally accepts herself and loves herself for who she is, flaws and all. And that, my friends, is how the curse gets broken. Not by a man, not by true love. But by loving and accepting herself. Ugh, absolute perfection.

So, hang on, if she accepts herself then why does it matter if the curse is broken and she gets a normal nose? Doesn’t that completely undermine the whole thing? I mean, contrast this with Shrek, where true love breaks the curse and Fiona is an ogre 24/7 because she’s beautiful to Shrek no matter what she looks like. 

cryptovolans:

ok. so I will make no secret of the fact that I LOVE ASTROLOGY AND I AM SUPER INTO ITbut yesterday I decided to take a good and proper look at the constellations and realized that they look nothing like their respective mascots. so, let me provide you all with a proper interpretation of the 12 signs.aries: tiny rifletaurus: 3 legged headless muppet waving its arms in the airgemini: the monolith from 2001: a space odyssey cancer: antibodyleo: mouse toyvirgo: headless guy stepping on a gunlibra: improperly executed ikea furniturescorpio: pirate hooksagittarius: leafy sea dragoncapricorn: neat triangleaquarius: 3 legged robot dogpisces: angular sperm

So I was born under the sign of badly assembled Ikea furniture. This explains a lot.

cryptovolans:

ok. so I will make no secret of the fact that I LOVE ASTROLOGY AND I AM SUPER INTO IT
but yesterday I decided to take a good and proper look at the constellations and realized that they look nothing like their respective mascots. so, let me provide you all with a proper interpretation of the 12 signs.

aries: tiny rifle
taurus: 3 legged headless muppet waving its arms in the air
gemini: the monolith from 2001: a space odyssey 
cancer: antibody
leo: mouse toy
virgo: headless guy stepping on a gun
libra: improperly executed ikea furniture
scorpio: pirate hook
sagittarius: leafy sea dragon
capricorn: neat triangle
aquarius: 3 legged robot dog
pisces: angular sperm

So I was born under the sign of badly assembled Ikea furniture. This explains a lot.

flanoir:

toastradamus:

these seals totally ruined this guys tent and when he comes back they all look so surprised at what they did

#herds elephant seals by half heatedly waving arms

thissstuff:

Now, videogames haven’t made me violent, buy they have made me feel like I’m supposed to pick this up.

I can’t see a security camera without wanting to batarang it. And don’t get me started on plants that look like Nirnroot.

thissstuff:

Now, videogames haven’t made me violent, buy they have made me feel like I’m supposed to pick this up.

I can’t see a security camera without wanting to batarang it. And don’t get me started on plants that look like Nirnroot.